Drinking Deep

My son and I went on a long bike ride last night, not in nature which is our normal modus operandi but more of an aimless jaunt. I told Finn wherever he wanted to go I’d come with him, he’s still pretty young and the traffic around here is quite heavy so I’m not comfortable with him going out on his own. The ride ended with me listening to his 10 year old interests, stopping to say hello to the trees I’m friends with and check on the blooms of the flowers we’ve been seeing on the reg for the last three months. I officially feel like I have communion with nature. It was actually a little challenging bringing my focus back to a person- my awareness endlessly would leave and fall on this branch, that flower, etc. We ended up on balboa island weaving through side streets seeing families chat on their front porch and blast their music. I jived for a moment with a guy on the light beams of Phil Collins. There were so many people in flow, the temperature yesterday was particularly intoxicating and lovely. I got thinking on my bike about evolving. My kids love pokemon I’m always hearing these random facts. Jude told me about one pokemon, Bulbasaur (grass type… whatever that means) who soaks up all the light and then evolves. I think of light as just energy coming into us. To do this it requires presence and openness. I like the visual of a mystical creature soaking up sun and sprouting new blooms.

I feel like I take in a lot of light regularly but sometimes I get a huge fill, it happens when I’ve let go enough of the daily minutia and embodied enough presence that suddenly I’m not just feeling light, I am light, I am one with the rainbow. I get it, it sounds like I am totally on drugs. Actually I am not. This is 100% organic light beam riding.

Last night I was in so much gratitude, love, and connection. I felt alive. However when I stepped off my rainbow I became acutely aware of just how empty my well had become. Suddenly I feel enamored again with those words of Thoreau, to put to rout all that was not life. What do I need to put rout? I don’t blog in this space much because my passions have evolved beyond just writing and photography, now I’m podcasting. My voice is over at Mettle Brain. I am actually doing an interview with a woman named Nicole Perkins, she currently lives in Atlanta. I’m excited to talk to her about the murder of Rayshard Brooks and the climate there in Atlanta . This month I am really trying to focus primarily on highlighting voices of color.

After I thought about the murder of Rayshard Brooks. I saw the footage that Shaunking shared of the civil conversation Rayshard was having with officers. I’ve had encounters with police, I know the volatility, and drunken authority that so many of these officers walk around with. It’s not the publics responsibility to be calm and manage the emotions of the officers. I understand Mr. Brooks reached for the taser and tried to run away but that is not an excuse to then shoot him down. I have seen how officers escalate situations. I wrote about one of my own experiences I’ve had with officers here in Newport Beach. I’ll give you a small tidbit- within one minute of talking to the officer he threatened “to take my children away.” No introduction, no attempt at understanding, he assumed negligence and then could not pull out of being right when he was actually wrong. Emotionally unstable doesn’t even begin to describe how so many of these officers are. I could barely talk about my own rough situation with my friends. Do we collectively care? How can we take more action? I organized a protest and worked with a few of the detectives maybe I can go and ask and express concern about the reactivity I’ve seen in our communities.

January Happenings

11 February 2020 

Little Ann’s first appearance on the blog. Welcome to the blog Little Ann1  It’s pretty surreal to sit here and write that she’s our dog. Wait, I have a dog? My very own dog? She’s wonderful! I joke occasionally that she’s a “gimme from the universe” what I mean by that is that having her has been easy and that’s something to say! I don’t think most people talk about their dog being “easy”.  Don’t you find it kind of crazy when easy things feel  hard and then occasionaly hard stuff turns out to be pretty easy? Life can be funny like that. Well my idea of having a dog with three young boys was that it would be really hard and most of my friends and loved ones said, “don’t do it!” Well it’s only been 8 months but we are so glad we got her. She’s added a lot, best said she really raises the vibe. Last dog note and then I’ll move on, today I was calling her, I knew she knew this was the “time to get the boys to school” moment but she wouldn’t come she stayed under the bed. I was like dang it Ann I need you to buffer the boys after school energy . It was a no go.  I just let her stay. Dogs are actually quite tricky to photograph by the way, I’m getting better.  If you are wondering if this post is an indicator that I am back on the blog… honestly I don’t know. It sure sounded nice though making a post. I am still over at mettlebrain.com posting my podcast episodes. I’ve got 38 episodes out now. Yes that’s where I’ve been the last two years.  Feel free to check it out, I’m on Spotify and iTunes, etc. etc.

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2019 Is Here!

2 January 2019

I’ve spent some time with the boys up in the mountains riding our bikes and it’s helped me see things differently and I’ve become inspired again to document a little more thoroughly their amazing growth. Here is our youngest Royal James in the Shakespeare garden looking for bees. Royal recently turned six and wow, what a crazy reality to have him turning six years old. 

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April 2018

April 8, 2018

Hello there! Well we had an incredibly busy weekend. Ryan’s parents came into town for Pete’s half iron man down in Oceanside.  Ryan took off work and we pretty much vacationed with GC and Bompa Pete’s for a few days. Some of our activities included breakfast together at Zinc, walking Crystal Cove, Ryan and GC exploring Lido, taking the boys to adventure park – which I thought would be a great idea given that we had a lot of cloud cover in Newport. However, when we got into Irvine it was apparent that everyone was on Spring break. The park was incredibly crowded which I didn’t love but we still had a lot of fun.   I had joy come over Friday night. Joy is nothing short of a god sent for me. She’s one of our baby sitters and she plans crafts and just has a really good handle on the boys. I feel so much gratitude for her. As Finn said, “Mom. I don’t know how she does it, but Joy is so good with kids!” hahaha.  

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